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Monica

from Piling It On by Jason Alarm

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lyrics

Off on campus stands a tower ringing through its victory song
While the women at a premium are hounded into dawn
I was glad to be a cog who just watched it from my lawn
It isn't hard to feel included if you consciously lose sight of moving on

And there you were hung like a prism so believable and bare
Through the miasma of our linens and our endless questionnaires
I wish the day could have grown darker before you went and compared me
To the future and a moocher but I'm trying not to care

'Cause it was hard to retain the benevolence I knew way back when
Upperclassmen called us fagots
And hard to recall when the marching band all hailed us burnouts
And hoping you'd comply with how I
Turned out and what has transpired
The keepsakes I've thrown in the fires I burn to keep my world from shutting down

After all life's so long
And you're getting old now Monica

Four months later I was streaking five blocks over
With a waitress with weird earrings and composure
Sipping chasers in a jeep behind a Kroger
While someone straighter and less sober was off reaping
The foreclosure of your skin and brain
But all of that seemed briefly painless
Lodged between a woman and a wall

I can tell what's missing as im listening to the air blow through the caravan from mountains dressed like Stevie Nicks
The city is coughing at me like some funny calliope nearing the end of I-76
And I have played by ear to every medley since the day
Somebody's brother
Caught the garter
But I'm not one to hang around and barter
You know I'll be off pushing a little harder
With a vision of you young and pre-departed
When there was dying left to
And with my pupils deeply fixed inside a luminescent glaze
I'll know that I could have made it out here by the time you went and changed me
From a phony to a loony but I'm trying not to cave

credits

from Piling It On, released December 10, 2016

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Jason Alarm Lansing, Michigan

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